hello. my name is ben, that photo above is of course me and the beautiful hills of cappodocia, turkey and i am simply in love with the world. this world is immensely beautiful is it not? no you say? well then, let me show you how beautiful it is.
--
my twitter
my previous blog
my new photoblog
my stranger, my friend, my lover
please do comment wisely.
oh and feel free to take my photos just let me know first.
January 26th
1:57 PM

a message from Anonymous


Ben. Kemarin katanya di Twitter tgl 15 Jan ada biweekly discussion. Gue tungguin flyernya kok gak muncul-muncul di Twitter atau Tumblr lo :S

haha, iya maaf kemaren lagi ribet banget ngurusin visa, paspor, kepentingan beasiswa dan kuliah, kerjaan foto dll. jadi ya lupa deh ngetweet dan masang di tumblr posternya. tapi nanti minggu pertama bulan februari ada lagi kok, kalau gak salah temanya Practical Theosophy. dateng ya!

metta.

1:54 PM

a message from Anonymous


Ben, ada perubahan ga dari hidup kamu yang sebelumnya gak pernah meditasi terus sekarang meditasi?

lumayan, ada beberapa perubahan standar seperti jadi jauh lebih kalem, sekarang bisa refleksi terlebih dahulu sebelum bereaksi terhadap suatu permasalahan, mengerti bahwa tindakan yang berlandaskan emosi spontan tidak akan akan membawa penyelesaian terhadap sebuah permasalahan, dll banyaklah perubahan-perubahan.

tapi kalau boleh jujur ada perubahan fundamental yang saat ini saya jadikan landasan kehidupan saya berkat meditasi, yaitu mengerti pentingnya kasih sayang atau compassion secara menyeluruh dalam kehidupan sehari-hari.

bukan hanya di tataran intelektualitas atau di tataran dogmatis but a deep realization on how important compassion is in conducting our daily lives. ketika kita menyadari pentingnya kasih sayang di sebuah tahapan yang melampaui intelektualitas ataupun dogma, we will understand that to live is to be compassionate. and not compassionate based on a certain set of rules, not compassion based on your ego or the understanding of compassion because you read it in a book or a holy book but compassion that is universal and compassion that is embodied in our daily actions.

wisdom must be experienced. not read or told about but experienced by oneself and we can do so by meditation.

meditasi itu susah karena kita terus berusaha mengerti dan melawan diri kita sendiri tapi dampaknya sangat besar dan menyeluruh.

gimana mau mencoba meditasi? hehe

metta.

January 24th
2:50 PM

a message from beeforbunga


Pernah ke acaranya Gobind Vasdhev, he's a great man indeed! I love how he shows his love to his wife.

me too! it’s amazing to actually get to personally know him, sleep at his house and be taught by him about many things!

2:48 PM

a message from Anonymous


ben, menurut lo gimana tentang orang Indonesia yg suka banget pake bb demi kemudahan komunikasi lewat bbm dan up-to-date di social network? btw, lo pake bb?

wah saya sih gak pake bb karena beragam alasan, dari OSnya yang lelet, masalah baterai, masalah keergonomisannya dan masalah menjadi terlalu mudah orang menghubungi saya berkat bbm. saya pencinta nokia haha.

dulu saya pernah marahin rara karena dia semenjak diberi bb oleh ibunya jadi addicted to social networking terutama twitter dan instant messaging app seperti bbm. ada keinginan untuk selalu mengetahui keadaan (status) orang lain dan dia lupa untuk berinteraksi dengan orang yang ada di depannya. dan ini bukan hanya rara tapi banyak teman saya yang seperti itu semenjak memiliki bb. untung rara meditasi haha.

kemudahan komunikasi lewat bbm merupakan suatu hal yang sangat menguntungkan apalagi ketika ada suatu hal yang urgent tapi ketika kemudahan tersebut akhirnya mendorong kita ke arah ketergantungan itu yang membahayakan.

kalau masalah up-to-date di social network sih sebenarnya merupakan fenomena sosial yang menarik (dulu saya ada draft tulisan tentang ini yg mau saya kirim ke jakarta globe tapi entah naro dimana jadi gak jadi ngirim haha). yang menarik adalah perubahan perilaku orang ketika online dan offline. karena ada jarak ketika berinteraksi di media online banyak dari kita lebih mudah mengekspresikan dirinya ketimbang ketika berhadapan dengan orang secara langsung.

nah kenapa kita banyak yang suka secara konstan mengupdate status kita karena ada beragam alasan, salah satunya adalah karena pada dasarnya kita ingin selalu menunjukkan atau memamerkan suatu (tapi memamerkan konotasinya agak negatif ey) dan social networking mendorong kita untuk terus memberitahu teman2 kita, mengenai kegiatan personal kita. mereka menggunakan keinginan terpendam kita ini dan mendorong kita untuk lebih ekspresif dalam kegiatan apapun yg kita lakukan (walaupun dalam bentuk tulisan singkat).

ada beragam alasan lainnya tapi sebenarnya saya gak ada masalah dengan ini semua asalkan tidak membentuk sebuah ketergantungan dalam diri kita terhadap ini semua. tapi yang terjadi ya memang sebagian besar dari kita ketergantungan terhadap social networking dan bbm dll.

sebenarnya ini masalah psikologis yg cukup kompleks, mau bikin skripsi ga tentang ini? menarik nih untuk dibedah lebih lanjut hahah.

7:21 AM

a message from Anonymous


halo kak ben, salam kenal ya. aku suka baca-baca blog kakak dan aku tertarik dengan meditasi. berhubung aku seorang kristiani, aku pengen nanya kira-kira meditasi itu sendiri bisa nggak di sinkronkan dgn cara beribadah orang kristiani? terima kasih :)

oh bisa banget, karena saya juga seorang kristiani..di ktp.haha tapi kalau memang agama menjadi sebuah masalah sebenarnya tergantung kita mempelajari meditasi yang macam apa. karena meditasi banyak juga yang sekuler seperti vipassana-nya S.N. Goenka atau Meditasi Mengenal Diri-nya (MMD) pak Hudoyo. vipassana bertujuan untuk to see things as they are, melihat sesuatu apa adanya bukan seperti apa yang kamu inginkan termasuk melihat dirimu apa adanya.

saya selama ini mendalami meditasi vipassana-nya Goenka walaupun meditasi vipassana memiliki akar di buddisme tapi di vipassana Goenka tidak ada sebuah proses ritual keagamaan atau lain sebagainya karena meditasinya sudah di sekularisasi.

nah karena meditasinya sekuler, jadi tentu secara logika tidak akan bentrok dengan agamamu karena meditasinya menjadi sebuah kegiatan untuk mengenal diri dan memperbaiki permasalahan2 psikologis yang kita miliki. sebenarnya meditasi tuh seperti kita ke psikolog tapi yang menjadi psikolog adalah diri kita sendiri. 

ini website untuk meditasi vipassana S.N. Goenka di Indonesia http://www.java.dhamma.org/

btw kenapa saya sebut meditasi vipassana-nya S.N. Goenka karena ada banyak macam meditasi vipassana yang lain tapi pengalaman saya adanya di ini.

semoga membantu!

metta.

January 23rd
12:08 PM

a message from Anonymous


Do you think God have emotions? If your do, do you think that God is happy?

well I don’t really perceive God as a being with emotions like us humans. I merely see God as the ultimate truth and the source. I reject the idea of a personal and a anthropomorphic (having human characteristics) God. this is a God who is but the gigantic mirror of man. 

but I also perceive the ultimate truth as supreme and divine love and where there is supreme love there is supreme happiness. so perhaps God is indeed happy? hahah

to be honest I don’t really ponder much over God, because how can we know the infinite with the finite? 

metta.

January 21st
12:10 PM

a message from Anonymous


Heyheyhey. Are you scared of death? Just asking (:

yes i am, not really death itself but the process of dying. the possible pain and agony of dying. but i’m immersing myself to understand pain, suffering and death a bit further which i hope i can someday accept and understand fully.

metta.

12:04 PM

a message from brissiebrissie


i guess.. i'll just post my question on my tumblr.. omg so sorry.. bcz of this limit.. im not able to ask my all questions :(.. Ben.. could u please see my tumblr :( and u can post ur asnwer here :)

Hi there sorry for the very, very late reply.

http://brissiebrissie.tumblr.com/post/15289630981/question-for-ben

so the question is, is it possible that this beautiful, wondrous, vast universe is a product of some mere random event?

maybe it is possible, maybe it isn’t. i don’t know and don’t really want to know. if there is some kind of supra-rational being that made this breathtaking universe that’s fine with me and if there isn’t, that the universe just came up randomly, then that’s fine by me too. 

we define God as being so great that surely the greatness of this universe has to be made by something even greater. 1 + 1 = 2. cause and effect, if this is like this, then surely the cause is like this. don’t you think that’s a rather rigid way of thinking?

yes it is logical, but doesn’t it condition our mind to the highest degree? that if the effect is like this then surely the cause is like this and it becomes very hard for us to accept an answer that seems illogical to our mind?

again, i’m not saying that i know a definitive answer but what i am saying is that i am open to all possibilities. because once you have fixed answer in your head, you may become upset and suffer when one day the answer to your question is not what you have expected.

metta.

11:21 AM

a message from Anonymous


ben, takdir itu sebenernya apa sih? aku nggak pernah ngerti bedanya takdir dan nasib, yang sering dibicarain banyak orang.

kalau kita ambil definisi dari kamus bahasa indonesia nasib memiliki arti sesuatu yg sudah ditentukan oleh Tuhan atas diri seseorang dan memiliki sinonim yaitu takdir. jadi mungkin yang membedakan adalah ketepatan penggunaan katanya dalam sebuah kalimat. (jadi pelajaran bhs. indo haha).

kalau menurut saya, takdir atau nasib adalah suatu kejadian yang diluar kendali kita. seperti baru beli komputer baru, pas baru menggunakannya sehari tiba-tiba rusak dan ternyata rusaknya karena ada cacat dari pabriknya. dan takdir yang paling besar menurut saya adalah kiamat. sains pun telah memaparkan bukti bahwa dunia kita suatu hari nanti akan berakhir karena matahari kita juga akan kehabisan energinya dan mati. Masih jauh banget sih, a few billion years, but still it does prove that the end is there.

nah banyak yang bilang kalau jodoh itu adalah takdir. tapi menurut saya jodoh adalah campuran antara takdir kita dan tindakan kita pribadi. ketika kita diberikan atau diperlihatkan sebuah jalan tapi tidak mengambil jalannya ya sudah hilang jodohnya. maka dari itu saya kurang setuju kalau jodoh itu ada di tangan Tuhan (murni takdir). 

kalau di Islam, kata Rara dan teman2 saya yang Muslim ada takdir besar dan takdir kecil untuk membedakan takdir dan nasib. tapi ada baiknya langsung tanyakan saja ke yang ahlinya. haha

10:47 AM

a message from rockyintan


Ben, do you think it's possible to believe in an absolutist, my-way-is-the-only-way religion and practice tolerance, especially towards other religions?

yes and no.

It depends on the individual actually. An individual with an absolutist point of view can remain tolerant but the way I see it, it is pseudo-tolerance. He may remain tolerant out of pity or if they are forced by the law.

“Oh let them practice what they believe in because in the end I am the one that will be let into heaven and they will burn in the fiery pits of hell.”

Fake and forced tolerance. Tolerance that is only on the surface level. The reason for this, is because we have intertwined our personal identity with our religious identity. I am no longer Ben, but I am now the Catholic, or the Muslim etc, etc. And as human beings we have pride, we always want to be above others (often secretly). So if we are given the chance to be above others even in religion, then why not?

I’ll go to heaven, he’ll go to hell, I win. 

Well actually there are other reasons why soem people are unable to acknowledge the possibility that other religions can save humanity in the end, such as the fear that their religion turns out to be inaccurate but then I would be making an essay about religiosity. haha

hope that helps!

*oh forgot to add about true religious pluralism because true tolerance can arise when we embrace true religious pluralism.

David Ray Griffin, a process philosopher focusing on religion defines religious pluralism as consisting of two affirmations, one negative and one positive:

The negative affirmation is the rejection of religious absolutism, which means rejecting the a priori assumption that one’s own religion is the only one that provides saving truths and values to it’s adherents, that it alone is divinely inspired, that is has been divinely established as the only legitimate religion, intended to replace all others. The positive affirmation, which goes beyond the negative one, is the acceptance of the idea that there are indeed religions other than one’s own that provide saving truths and values to their adherents.

Well this is the understanding of religious pluralism for me.

metta.

10:21 AM

a message from chasingthelasttrain


well yeah im in between a pessimist and realist. is that normal or okay though? i mean i try to be optimistic most of the time but at the same time i have to be realistic cuz life can throw shit at me sometimes. maybe it's wrong for me to think like that. i don't know... meh.

so what do you define yourself now after successfully conducting your thesis defense? you can be an optimist and a realist at the same time. that’s what the buddha taught actually. understand that life is suffering, understand that you will constantly suffer because you have desires, wishes, expectations and life won’t always fulfill your desires, wishes or expectations. that is why you suffer. but remain optimistic because somethings are meant for us and somethings aren’t. how will you know which are for you and which aren’t? well you just have to live life to find that out.

metta.

10:17 AM

a message from Anonymous


Hi Ben! Do you know that there's Bandung Tumblr Meet Up ?? All the tumblr bloggers from Bandung are invited. Maybe you can invite them too to the theosophical discussion ! :)

ah yes, rara once told me about it and i’ve read about it somewhere but nahh i don’t really like “preaching” about theosophy, spirituality, buddhism, etc, etc. when the time is right for them to come, then the time is right for them to come. hehe why don’t you come to our discussions anonymous? hehe

10:09 AM

a message from Anonymous


do you think it's possible for people to die from sadness?

of course it’s possible. well not just any ordinary sadness but when that sadness turns and evolves into depression, which is a greater form of sadness people can die. that is why there are suicide hotlines in america, a combination of stress, tragedies and so on will cause people to take their own very lives. sad isn’t? 

January 12th
4:23 PM

2011, ubud and a study on loneliness

2011 was the year of change for me. The year of understanding that change is necessary, it is imminent and that it must be embraced with openness and jubilation. There were three events in 2011 that I recall as moments of change or perhaps moments of personal miniature enlightenments. Three pivotal events that has compeled me to understand myself, hence understanding life, a bit deeper. The first was my second vipassana meditation retreat which I conducted with Rara this time.

As this was my second time conducting the vipassana meditation retreat I was already accustomed with the meditation technique and this helped me gain a head start in my meditation. Yet having a head start does not ease the actual practice of the meditation. By meditating we acknowledge and understand how hideous we are, and this is not easy due to the denial of our personal monstrosity. We see our hatred, anger, sadness, jealousy, envy, pride, we see all our wrongs, we see ourselves naked and transparent. We become ashamed of ourselves. And when there is shame, there is regret. Deep regret of the past. 

Out of all the ugliness that I have re-found and re-understood as the result of my meditation, there was one aspect that I have truly come to grips with and that is loneliness. At the very last day of my meditation I understood, not just mere intellectually, but understood deep to the core of my being, my heart if you wish to say so, that we are all in fact alone. Deep down we know this, but we refuse to accept it or even acknowledge it. 

Yes, you are probably now trying to refute this but i’m not just talking about physical loneliness. You might have friends, families, lovers, people to talk to, to laugh with, etc, etc. But if you take a closer look of yourself, if you dig deep within yourself, you will eventually come to the conclusion that yes we are undoubtedly egoistic beings. And if we are such a a horrendous being, then others too will more or less be the same. 

And that was where I understood that although we might not seem alone, we are alone. Because the person we care the most is ourselves thus so too the others will be the same.

And the understanding of loneliness, breeds fear. Now it is this fear that I struggle with and have yet to accept fully. Furthermore this fear has somewhat grown due to another life changing event.

The sudden death of my father.

I have spoken much of my father’s death and I have nothing new to add perhaps other than I miss his physical presence oh so very much. My father’s death has been a very important lesson for me and I am grateful for the opportunity that has been given to me to experience this tragedy at a rather early age. For me, my father’s death has not merely brought tragedy and deep sorrow but it has brought understanding, to understand life and it’s impermanence, to understand death and the beauty of it. I can assure you that we can only understand the pain, the suffering and the significance of loss when one loses a person that one loves. The feel of longing which one has never felt before and only by death one can experience such a thing.

But if you understand that one day all lives will end, so you too must understand that all hearts will and must be broken.

My father died on September 11. Two months later I received a full scholarship to New Zealand to continue my master’s degree. Oh how surreal often life is. There was a range of emotions when I knew that I had been accepted. Joy came first but it was followed by sadness. I wanted to show to my dad that I had received a scholarship. I wanted him to give me a pat in the back and say ,”good job Ben.”

I just wanted to see him smile.

When i’m at my home at Bogor, I usually wake up at hours when the sun still sleeps and often the first thing that comes to my mind is, “papah kemana ya?” It is question that is then quickly answered by the realization that my dad is no longer here. 

hi dad

I am sure, that if I conduct a third meditation retreat, my father’s death will be of top priority to deal with. Often when I meditate at home, I ponder over all of my achievements, including my recent scholarship and ask myself what use are these achievements? Have they contributed what so ever to the abolishment of my sorrow, my fears, my angers? Or have they just inflated my pride? Causing jealousy hence suffering to others?

We live in a society that stands upon achievements and we are extremely proud of it. There is more to life than this. Meditate on this I must. 

Yet on the other hand, I am happy I did receive a scholarship to New Zealand, not only because this is a country where I always wanted to go to but because I love learning new things adding to this I also am being paid to learn. Who doesn’t want that? To be honest I don’t really care about my degree, I just want to meet new people and learn from them. Because by learning new things, we understand this world a bit better. Sri Ravi Shankar once said, “The question, ‘Who am I?’ leads to spirituality. The question, ‘What is this?’ leads to science.” A statement which is so very true. 

With knowledge of oneself and of this world, we can help those that are in need of help. 

I have chosen New Zealand because I seek more than just intellectually enriching myself, I still have this immense desire to dive deep within myself and I will use my time in New Zealand to do so. New Zealand has seen a tremendous growth in Buddhism and spirituality in it’s recent years and I plan to immerse myself spiritually as I have done so in Turkey back in 2010. There are four countries that I have always been keen in going to, Turkey, India, Bhutan and New Zealand. Fortunately back in 2010, me and Rara received a 2 months language scholarship to Turkey. And yes, my time spent in Turkey was a journey that widened and of course changed my views towards this world. It was more than what I had expected.

Istanbul, Turkey 2010

There was this one moment in Turkey, it was on the edge of the Turkish-Iran border, me and Rara was taken to a ruined castle up on the hills by our guide, Aslan. The timing was perfect, the sun was just about to set down, the colors of blue, red, and orange collided in the skies giving birth to the most perfect shade of purple my eyes has ever seen. Majestic, beautiful colors dancing in the sky accompanied by miles of green pasture on the horizon.

It was one of those magical evenings where I felt one with myself and with the world. And when you see yourself as a part of this universe, this grand cosmos, when you acknowledge it, when you embrace it, then we can understand how insignificant our problems are. How insignificant we are.

Turkey for me was more than just a learning opportunity but it was a journey to the depths of oneself. It was indeed a personal spiritual journey.

And the last event that helped me to understand my self and this world a bit more is my short trip to Bali at the end of 2011. Me and Rara stayed at Ubud, Bali for 8 days then we stayed at Denpasar for two days before going back to Bandung. At Ubud, we stayed at Rara’s cousin Gobind Vasdhev author of Happiness Inside and his wife mba Tika. I must say that they are an incredibly unique couple. Both are vegetarians, which eased me and Rara in finding food, both are also interested in spirituality, which also helped me and Rara get to know the spiritual side of Ubud. 

vegetables and fruit juice for breakfast!

 

not really enticing at first glance, but nonetheless it is an extremely healthy breakfast

The first few days of my stay at Ubud, I had the urge to live there. I was intoxicated by the serenity and spirituality of Ubud. But a part of me understood that the reality of the future of Ubud, with uncontrolled development and the lack of awareness of the local population, this small city of spiritual paradise may end up becoming a paradise ruined by the onslaught of reckless tourism and globalization. Yet for the time being, Ubud is indeed one of my favorite cities in Indonesia. Vegetarian foods are abundant, fascination towards spirituality, alternative healing and all that new age gibberish is on every corner and I don’t know what but the atmosphere of Ubud is indeed comforting.

the streets of Ubud

on our way back to the city after having lunch at Sari Organik

bought new books!

Raw chocolate cake accompanied with fresh strawberry sauce. It’s so fucking good (mind my language) I can write a whole essay about how amazingly good this cake is.

But it wasn’t really Ubud that made my short trip to Bali spiritually meaningful. From the 30th of December to the 2nd of January me and Rara meditated at Brahmavihara  Arama, a buddhist monastery located at Singaraja, north of Ubud. It was there where I met individuals keen towards understanding themselves. I met individuals that were able to see that the problems of this world are the result of the problems within oneself. They understood what I was searching for, I understood what they were searching for. Happiness from within. 

Look inside, it is there where the reality lies.

We must understand that knowing the source of your problems do not make you a master of yourself but it opens the path towards mastering oneself.

the statue of the Buddha at Brahmavihara Arama. 

One essential wisdom that I received during my short meditation at Brahmavihara Arama, thanks to pak Gede Prama my meditation guru at Brahmavihara Arama, it is that the ultimate spiritual journey is a personal journey. Every individual has different paths towards understanding his or her spirituality. 

As finely said by Gobind Vasdhev, “agama adalah hubungan personal dengan yang ilahi. Jika ada 7 milyar orang di bumi maka ada 7 milyar agama di muka bumi ini.”

After finishing our meditation and we headed back south to Ubud, me and Rara stayed there for a couple more days at mas Gobind’s and mba Tika’s house, visited the Taman Safari and Marine Park at Gianyar and then we headed to Denpasar to stay at our friend Abigail.

lotus flowers are simply beautiful don’t you think?

Balinese clothes for sale at the Ubud market

Mas Gobind and mba Tika, thank you for letting us stay at your amazing home.

at Taman Safari and Marine Park Bali they are able to make paper from elephant poo.

We explored the opulence of Seminyak, played around at the beach where we met Ninies and her boyfriend Ridha, tried a few great restaurants, laughed a lot, did this and that. And then on our last day at Bali we went to famed the Potato Head before heading back to Bandung. Aesthetically speaking, Potato Head was nothing short of amazing, but as I sat down on the sofa that was positioned perfectly to appreciate the blue sea and the white clouds my amazement of Potato Head shifted to the natural scenery which seems my sofa was suppose to convey. I pondered on everything that I have experienced and learned in 2011 including my short trip to Bali.

at Potato Head

Thank you Abi, for letting us annoy you.haha

I realized that by the end of this month I will be continuing my studies to New Zealand and as I understood perfectly that the duration will not be short, the fear of loneliness and the fear of change crept slowly into my mind. Every single day we all change let alone two years. I will be leaving my family, my friends and of course Rara. 

Being partially hypnotized by the sound of the pounding waves and the glaring afternoon sun and the constant assertion of my negative emotions, I forced my mind to observe its thoughts. Closing my eyes, focusing on my breath. Reassuring myself that a calm mind is a happy mind. With my mind steadily calming down, I then became fully aware that I still have much to learn and so thus I now am aware that I must always be a student. 

I must always be a life-long learner.

Because as I separate myself from Rara I understand that new identities will emerge, new knowledge will be learnt, new wisdom will be obtained and new friction will come forth.

And all this will be inevitable. 

Learn to understand this I must.

love you gurl.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. - Yoda.

oh btw I am sorry if I have not yet answered the questions in my inbox, they are incredibly hard to answer but they are very, very fascinating questions. I am simply astounded by your curiosity and will definitely answer them all later on. 

 metta.

December 21st
10:15 PM

a message from Anonymous


Jadi, coba lakukan sesuatu yg bertentangan Tuhan, are u happy???. then, menurut aku, kebahagiaan yg bersumber dr diri kita. does it mean that our happiness sticks to something? to ourself. Can u tell an independent happiness??....

i am sorry if my previous answer offended you in any way. and i am sorry that i did not explain further on what i meant on happiness and dependency. 

but why are you upset? does not that strengthen my answer that a person’s dependency towards god for happiness will cause suffering? it is as if you are being threatened? it is as if you need god to be your source of happiness. because that is what you have believed in. because it is what you have held on to. if someone, such as me, tells you something that is contrary on what you believe in you become upset or angered. 

you are not just holding on to the idea that god is the source of happiness, but you become that idea. that is why if a person attacks your idea, you feel threatened, you become insecure.

and when there is insecurity, there is displeasure. 

yes, happiness depends on ourselves, or in your words “it sticks to ourselves”. what i mean by independent happiness is that happiness does not become dependent towards anything outside ourselves, specifically our mind. happiness is all in our minds.

if you choose to be happy, then you become happy. if you choose to hold on to anger, to hold on to sadness, to hold on to the past you become miserable. it is not that we can’t let go of these things, but it’s because we don’t want to. 

if happiness has its source in god we become dependent on god. we will constantly ask god for happiness without ourselves doing anything to be happy. we will just pray and hope that god will someday relieve us of our misery and bring us happiness.

and if after you ask god to help you and god does not help you, god does not relieve you of your suffering you then become angry towards god. and then you question god, “why did god let me suffer!”. you then become an atheist and then you hate god. and then you hate people that loves god. and then you hate religion and then you hate every single thing that has the word religion or god in it.

this is but an example of the horrible cycle of one our dependency.

if your really want to exchange ideas, just tell me your name and we can meet up anonymous. don’t worry i won’t bite but i really love making new friends to exchange thoughts with.

metta.